Happy Highways

I try to deal mainly in facts while many who disagree with me seem to deal mainly with emotions, such fear of global warming or compassion for the poor. Of course, your emotions on these subjects are only legitimate so long as you agree with their prescriptions.

One thing they are good at is coming up with appealing terms that are, in fact, meaningless. Complete streets, for example. Who would want an incomplete street? Or how about smart growth, a term that says nothing about what it means, but that was specifically picked so they could accuse anyone who disagreed with them of being for dumb growth.

When we come up with terms, we try to make them as accurately descriptive as possible, but the results aren’t very appealing. Mileage-based user fees, for example. Are you for embuff? Or how about road user charges, or RUCs. That doesn’t sound appealing at all. In fact, it rhymes with some potentially unappealing things. “RUCs sucks; don’t get f**ked by RUCs.”
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Instead of terms like these, how about Happy Highways. A happy highway is a well-maintained highway, and highways paid for out of user fees tend to be better maintained than highways paid for out of taxes. A happy highway is an uncongested highway, and highways that use variable-priced tolls tend to stay uncongested. Therefore, highways funded out of user fees with variable tolls are Happy Highways.

Maybe you can do better. I look forward to your suggestions.

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About The Antiplanner

The Antiplanner is a forester and economist with more than fifty years of experience critiquing government land-use and transportation plans.

6 Responses to Happy Highways

  1. raskrask says:

    “Happy Highways” work for me. We should also use negative terms like RailFail to start a “conversation” (you know what that means to the socialist) about how things have worked out in the past.

  2. Bob Clark says:

    I like it. If I were to ever start a highway group, I’d call it the Happy Highways Home (triple H).

  3. Frank says:

    3,700 people die everyday in traffic accidents. “Fatal highways” has a ring to it. Can you imagine if the media reported every single traffic fatality like they do with COVID? We would have been in lockdown for decades.

  4. Frank,

    Where did you get 3,700? Do you mean around the world? In the United States, only about 100 people a day die in traffic accidents. Each death is a tragedy, but auto fatalities per billion vehicle miles have declined 75 percent since 1972.

  5. Frank says:

    Yes, world-wide. About 140,000 people die everyday in the world, making auto accidents a very small percentage of the total. Yes, fatalities have declined. Still, the riskiest thing many of us will do today is to get in a car. Far more risky than sitting in church for an hour without a mask.

  6. Tory says:

    MaX Lanes = Managed eXpress Lanes, “moving the maximum number of people at maximum speed”

    Far better branding than HOT or toll lanes!

    http://houstonstrategies.blogspot.com/2017/05/max-lanes-next-generation-strategy-for.html

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